Ok, who’s clicking the SPAM?
Stop it. Bad. Go to your room. No dinner, and don’t ever let me catch you clicking on that SPAM again.
No! You do not want to “Show her you’re a real man,” “Make her scream like a banshee,” or “Be a dynamo in bed!” I know that nice man in Nigeria desperately needs your help and wants to send you money, even though he can’t speak English so good and somehow managed to randomly pick your email address from the millions available, but just let him go… ok? No, no, no… you DO NOT want to get your degree online by taking a few equivilency tests.
What? No! Stop that! Didn’t I tell you that you don’t want to increase your manhood or enlarge your chest?
No, you did not sign up for an account at Bank of America. I know that’s what they said. I know. I know they want your personal information verified so they can ensure that your account hasn’t been compromised. When did you sign up for an account? You didn’t. Then why would they be sending you an e-mail? Just… don’t worry about it, ok?
No, you do not have a $435.67 payment to classicautos from PayPal. I know it says so, but do you even have a PayPal account? No? Then how could you have sent a payment? Nevermind, just ignore it.
Viagra? What? No.
I know that beautiful girl (Annanikova?) from Russia wants to meet you and probably make lots of nice little babies too, but have you even met her? Why would she want to get to know you? Oh, because she’s lonely and you look cute in your profile picture. What profile? MySpace I guess. What? Oh, you don’t have a MySpace profile. Humph.
IQ test? Online? Prove you’re smarter than Paris Hilton… do you really need a test?
A check? Really? Oh, did Obama say he was going to send you a twelve thousand dollar check? Oh! Only if you register online at this website. Is it a government site? Oh, well that’s ok, I’m sure it’s still legit. *sigh*
No, I didn’t know that I could use my cell phone to track…
Oh, well… I guess that’s terrible that the do not call list is…
What!? A virus? I don’t even like eBay…
Man from Nigeria…
Manhood…
PayPal…
Ok. I don’t know who you people are or what you’re thinking, but STOP CLICKING ON SPAM! If nobody ever clicked on it, then eventually it would just go away. The fact that it’s still around means that there’s at least ONE PERSON OUT THERE that still looks at a bit of SPAM and says to themselves, “Why yes… actually! I WOULD like my penis to be bigger… thank you!” Who are you!? STOP IT.
That is all.
Oh, by the way. I found this great place where you can get a free sample of any over the counter medication, just by giving your name, address, and SSN. Make sure you check it out! 
Tags: spam funny